IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
