i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
