Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she peed on how many people?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
