fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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