I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
