I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The Olympian is in my bed
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
