i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There r osticjed everywhere
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
