Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
