You really coming over, don't trick.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
be right there i have to get my cape
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
