HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
