Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
