id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
