i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
