dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
