If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
