Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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