Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
