Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
