I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
