I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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