her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize