oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
