i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
