i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
