My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
