I have demons in me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
