so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I love you. Go after that dick
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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