i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
