What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just google imaged poop.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
