you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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