I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
