We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
