yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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