addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
vagina is talking i cant
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
