Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
wow bdsm is so cute
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