I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
