Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I pour the whiskey from now on
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
