What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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