I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
