She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
