You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
