Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize