It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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