Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize