Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
