respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
