Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
