the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
