So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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