next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
