The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
