i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
