she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
