I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
id be glad to
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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