i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
