Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
