I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize