'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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