weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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