She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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