My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
