I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
