I think i peed on brittanys purse
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize