Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
