im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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