I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
