you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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