dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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